My Relationship With Jesus

I want to share my relationship with my friend Jesus.

As a child, I was born into religion. My parents met at a camp meeting in Indiana when they were very young. Religion was the foundation of their lives, handed down to them by people who had inherited the same beliefs. It was simply the way things were done, and naturally, I was raised in it too.

Church was a major part of my childhood. Sunday mornings meant a sermon, followed by Sunday School. Sunday evenings brought another sermon. Wednesday nights were Prayer Meeting. My greatest motivation for attending was often thinking about what I would get to eat afterward. Potlucks were my reward.

Even now, at 70 years old, I can vividly remember sitting uncomfortably in those pews. I was told that God loved me unconditionally, yet at the same time, I was warned that one wrong step, one imperfect prayer, or even questioning the Bible could send me straight to hell. As a child, those messages felt confusing, contradictory, and frankly, scary.

There were things I enjoyed about church. I loved singing in the choir, and I loved the hymns. I never paid much attention to the lyrics, but I loved how the music made me feel. I would watch people raise their hands, sway with their eyes closed, and seem completely transported. I never experienced that myself, but I was fascinated by it.

I also loved church camps. Summer camp and winter camp felt different from church. They felt free. During one summer camp trip to Lake Arrowhead, California, I learned to water ski. Those experiences were about fun, friendship, and adventure, and I’m blessed to carry those memories.

As I grew older, my parents gradually stopped attending church. Watching my once-devoted parents disengage made me question my own assumptions. If they could step away, perhaps I could too.

The truth is, I never felt at home in church. It never felt like the place of love and acceptance it claimed to be. By the time I reached ninth grade, I had had enough. I no longer felt any connection to the teachings or the people there. If this was supposed to be the place where I felt closest to God, why did I feel so disconnected?

Walking away was a significant decision. In those days, there was no social media, no texting, and no constant connection with friends I had made. Leaving meant truly leaving.

Looking back, I can see that I made a choice at a young age that would continue throughout my life: when people, places, or beliefs no longer aligned with my truth, I had the courage to let them go.

But when I left the church, I made sure I took Jesus with me.

When I was five years old, at a camp meeting with my grandmother, I accepted Jesus into my heart. From that moment on, he became my closest friend. I didn't have the kind of parents I could talk to about anything, so I learned early to look within. Whenever I needed guidance, comfort, or understanding, I turned to Jesus.

My faith in him has never wavered.

Throughout every stage of my life, through challenges, losses, mistakes, and victories, I have relied on his guidance. I would pray about a situation, ask for direction, and trust that the path unfolding before me was the right one. The lessons were not always easy, but I always felt a sense of peace knowing I was being guided.

Jesus has never let me down.

As much as I have come to question religion and the confusion it often created in my life, I am grateful for one thing: it introduced me to Jesus.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have met him if I hadn’t been raised in the church. I may have left the institution behind, but I never left the relationship I had with him. By leaving the church, my relationship with Jesus became stronger; he’s all I had.

The greatest gift I carried away from my religious upbringing was the understanding that Jesus loved me unconditionally and that I could always rely on him. I believed it with my whole heart. I embodied it as a child, and I have carried it with me ever since.

That belief has helped shape the person I am today. It guided me toward my awakening and my authentic self. It taught me the power of unconditional love. That love has become the foundation of my life—just as Jesus showed me it could be.

I am grateful for my relationship with him and blessed to have carried his light within me all of these years.

~Sue